Post - A Tale of Two Phillys

Nathan and I have just returned from a perfect Memorial Day weekend down in Ocean City, NJ. I feel super lucky to (usually) have my birthday fall on such a holiday because it means that friends and family are already gathering and I don’t need to force a thing.

Birthday’s have always been weird to me in that aspect. There are only 365 days in a year. Everyday is someones birthday! It has always felt silly for me to celebrate… myself.

I think this comes from the fact that I share my birth week with my brother and mom. I am always more excited about their big days than my own! That said - this year was made so sweet thanks to Nathan’s early morning trek to get me a cake and his skillful attempt at designing it before I made my way to the kitchen. My friend of 20 years, Katelyn spent the weekend with us as well (she constantly makes me roll around with laughter) plus my brother Jimmy and his girlfriend, Carrie joined us on a trip to the beach and the boardwalk. I couldn’t have asked for more.

I truly do not mind getting older. Heck, I lied and said that I was older that I was when I first started out in the business.

Still, 31 seems pretty inconsequential. That said, I’ve avoided catastrophe so far AND because of that I consider myself completely qualified to share 31 totally arbitrary “truths” that I have come to understand thus far.

1. Parents are always right.

2. The willingness to get your hands dirty is way cooler than having perfect nails ALL THE DANG TIME. (Also, I’m incapable and have had to come to terms with 2nd day chipping.)

3. There’s no such thing as a “crazy stalker ex-girlfriend”. (More likely your man is still talking to/tormenting her. I’ve had so many friends learn this sad lesson and its silly how often I hear woman-blaming. There is also no such thing as getting “out of the friend zone”. If he/she doesn’t want to date you, its because he/she doesn’t want to date you and that person owes you nothing more. Rom Coms have done people a huge disservice in pushing the falsehood that aggravating persistence pays off. )

4. Grandparents should be appreciated. (Too many people regard them as a joke.)

5. Invest in your 401k early. (You’ll forget that it is missing from your paycheck. Even if your first job pays 20k like mine did!)

6. Tanning is bad. (16 year old Alex would roll her eyes at that. 31 year old Alex is forced to wear full coverage concealer at work.)

7. Bleach makes having nice hair impossible. (It took me until 29 to go natural and I now vow to dissuade any future child from coloring their hair.)

8. Dating is good. (Date weird people. Nice people. “Not-Your-Type-More-Of-A-Social-Experiment” people. <—That last one was my specialty. Knowing what you don’t like is just as important as knowing what you do. Once you find the perfect fit, you will know it. Don’t let a relationship fall short of anything but absolute adoration.)

9. High priced clothing should be purchased sparingly. (Trends change too quickly.)

10. Nightly thoughts of gratitude are a must. (Call it prayer or meditation or whatever brings you peace).

11. When people ask how you are doing, consider actually telling them. (Openness is an easily-loved attribute. Ask others how they are in a way that shows you want an authentic answer.)

12. No job is cooler or above than anyone else’s. (Work is work and chances are, the toll booth operator or transit driver make as much money as you.)

13. Raising the pitch of your voice (as a female) doesn’t make you sound cute. It makes you sound silly. (Ladies, we all have done this. For me it was in college. The same goes for men who succumb to what they think society expects.)

14. No one is thinking about you. (At least not nearly as often as you think they are. Everyone is dealing with busy lives of their own).

15. Expensive college is a rip off. (Yes, my schooling was a wonderful gift, but 50k a year is a scam. Junior/Community college + a State school would have provided the same education).

16. Strangers who randomly pluck a fallen hair off of your shirt are annoying. (I see through your dominance game!)

17. Be willing to move. (Living outside your comfort zone, even if for a short while. It will help you know yourself and can put home into perspective.)

18. Not eating meat is easy. (Some of my coworkers who I normally eat alongside will poke fun at this as if it is extreme but it’s really not. I’d say about half of my friends don’t eat red meat and a quarter don’t eat any. You just need to look a little harder at a menu and often being this aware will help you make healthier choices overall. Of course bacon smells amazing but I honestly have found enough substitutes where I never crave actual animal meat. If you are serious about helping the planet, this should be step number one.)

19. People are the same everywhere. (Vietnam, Venice Beach, Topeka – People just want to feed their family, spend time with their friends and laugh).

20. Force as much water down your throat as you can. (I don’t love it but I can certainly tell the difference when I drink less of it. I’m also one of those crazy people who only like water lukewarm. )

21. Well phrased self-deprecation is key to most every conversation. (The key is “well phrased”. It is uncomfortable to be around people who rip on themselves all of the time, especially - you know - if they actually dislike themselves. Similarly, no one really likes talking to a person who has absolutely everything going for them because… they probably don’t and they definitely tripped last week or was painfully overdressed to something dumb. Do tell, folks! I love people who are easy to relate to.)

22. If a movie or book is bad, there is no use continuing with it. (This is likely a symptom of some sort of ADD but come on, life is way too short to sit through “Bewitched” in the theater.)

23. Comparing one’s physical appearance to others is a temptation that must be subdued. (There will always be someone prettier, younger and thinner. Being smart and capable is far more rare.)

24. A person’s behavior behind the wheel reflects their personality. (I consider my driving habits to be, “rational”. According to Nathan they are, “restless”. Hmm. I swear though, I’ve known friends who I would describe as “frantic” and there they go - racing up to the bumper of each car in front of them. I’d say the most dangerous are the “aloof” drivers because I promise you they are just as aloof in real life. )

25. Every song that features a harmonica is a good song.

26. Being ultra “particular” about things in a group setting is super rude. (Yeah, we all know that person who sends their own food back three times at a restaurant and still doesn’t understand why kitchen spit might become involved.)

27. Bullying your siblings will leave you with regret.

28. Opposites can attract but don’t sustain. (I’ve just never seen this to work out. My thought is to find someone who shares a similar soul. Life will start to make so much sense.)

29. Human and Animal lives are equal in their worth. (I know this one is a bit controversial but I have long struggled to understand the difference. Keep in mind, there was a time when women and people of color were thought of as lesser life forms. In the same way that society has learned from our past mistakes, I predict that we will one day learn how brutally we have underestimated animals.)

30. Abstaining from cream or Splenda in coffee will not make you skinny. (I guess if you really do the math, those extra 50 calories a day add up, but so will walking an extra block to work or taking the stairs. Those moments of subtle enjoyment though are too nice to pass up. Take the extra block, sip something sweet and enjoy life.)

31. Just get dressed and go. (This is a piece of wisdom that I once read in a “99 life lessons from a 99-year-old” type thing and it stuck with me. So often, its tempting to stay behind closed doors or within places that are familiar/comfortable. Taking action can be as easy as just putting on clothes and heading out the door.)